“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

— I Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

When I was a child I thought marriage was an absolute part of life. In my mind, once you became an adult you got married and had children. Over time I learned life is not that cut and dry.

Society has led some to believe fat people are unattractive and underserving of admiration. There is a misconception that those of us who are plus-size are desperate and willing to accept anything. And unfortunately, some fuller-figured individuals believe they have to settle for whoever or whatever comes along.

In spite of what may be the opinion of society, there are plenty of suitors open to loving and marrying the fat girl. There is no need to alter who we are in hopes to gain the affections of another. It is true that there are men who find those of us with body fat repulsive, but there are several more who love it or don't care. You can find happiness by being yourself, knowing your worth, and not compromising your values. When we are true to ourselves we will receive what we need.

In my younger days I didn't see myself as beautiful or even attractive because of my weight and skin tone. I didn't believe I measured up to what could be considered desirable. Even though there were individuals who were attracted to me, I was unable to embrace it because I hadn't accepted me. When I learned to accept myself and the fact that I am desirable, relationships developed and I eventually married. My experiences taught me I am beautiful. But, the most valuable lesson I learned is the importance of being unafraid to be myself and allowing people to get to know me.

Marriage taught me that communication, honesty, and trust are vital parts of a successful relationship. Which, have absolutely nothing to do with appearance and physique. Being a good communicator, trustworthy, and honest are attributes of the inner person not the outer - and we are all capable of demonstrating them.

What's the take-away? Be yourself. If you are operating as your true self there is no issue with being dishonest. In any situation it is imperative to be who we are. If you are not accepted by someone when you are being yourself, they are not for you. But, most importantly, denying our true selves robs us of a more fulfilling relationship with ourselves. Furthermore, when we have achieved a healthy connection with ourselves we are better equipped to partake in a fruitful relationship with someone else. Don't get me wrong, companionship is a wonderful thing, but let's ensure we are at peace and loving self first.