Has being single for an extended period altered my view and desires for a relationship? A week ago I was under the impression that my lack of interest in dating again was due to my fears and trust issues. But recently being told, “you’re a catch, but I don’t think you want to be caught,” left me speechless. You see, my last relationship wasn’t that great. I was convinced the experience brought my ability to see who is potentially bad for me into question. In retrospect, I believe the signs were there, but I chose to ignore them. But I also wonder if I was blind to them because I wanted to be a wife and mother. I mean, I was 34 and unmarried. How many more chances was I going to get?

But with all things not considered, I accepted his offer of marriage and said “I do” in front of a small group of family and friends on a beautiful beach in south Miami. It is 10 years later and I am uncertain if that act was the biggest mistake of my life or the most influential thus far.

I’ve heard having regrets is sometimes labeled as immature. For me, the jury is still out. I realize everything I’ve encountered shaped the woman I am today. I also know that in God’s infinite wisdom, all things work together for my good. If I hadn’t said “I do,” I wouldn’t have experienced a level of pain and loss that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. Sometimes I wish I could have learned this lesson differently, but without it, I wouldn’t know how strong I am nor would I know about the peace that surpasses my understanding. Furthermore, I know better than to charge God foolishly.

Being single for seven years has enabled me to become content with who I am. The number seven denotes completion or perfection. By no means am I claiming to be perfect, on the contrary, I’ve learned how to embrace my imperfections. Who knows, maybe being single is what I needed to become the woman who is ready for a relationship. I mean, how can I make someone else happy if I’m not happy with myself? Now that I am at a better place with who I am, does this mean I’m ready to leap, or is it best for me to stand still? Honestly, the jury is still out on that one too.