Having been on this earth for a few decades, I've learned a few things about males. Unfortunately, I came to obtain most of this knowledge the hard way - trial and error. One of the things I've learned is the phrase, "actions speak louder than words" isn't necessarily true.

In the dating world, we often rely on the actions of men to determine how they feel about us. Some of us don't recognize the fact that most men will tell us exactly what they want - but, are we listening?

I can recall several conversations I had over lunch or dinner at Bennigan's and Ruby Tuesday analyzing the behavior of the guy I was dating with my girlfriend, or my "partner in crime" as my mother calls her. We spent - or should I say wasted, countless hours and a lot of energy trying to decipher how guys felt about us. "Does he like me?" "If he didn't like me he wouldn't have done blah blah blah - right?"

In most cases, when we meet men they will tell us what they want. Generally speaking, a man will blatantly say he is looking for a relationship, or he'll say he doesn't want one. Some of us either hear what we want to hear or convince ourselves that we can change their minds. I say this because I am guilty of both scenarios.

It is understandable that spending weekends together, meeting his friends and family, daily phone calls, and keeping your shampoo and razors in his shower seem like signs of a relationship. But, unless he said it - don't bank on it. Furthermore, I would even venture to say that if a person's words and actions don't match, you may want to rethink your involvement.

Even though I think it is very important to listen to the words that are spoken to us, I also think it is equally important to watch the behavior of the person who is speaking. As human beings, we do want we want to do. We find the means, the time, and the energy for the things we want to do. It could be out of desire or obligation, but by any means necessary, we make it happen. If you are being told, "I want to be with you", but they don't call, they don't make plans and follow-through in seeing you - you are getting "lip service."

In a nutshell, words and actions should match. It is imperative that we listen as well as watch the behavior of the people in our lives, and if we don't like what we see and hear - we should do what is best for us and move on.

Since I don't think actions speak louder than words, I've created my own phrase; "Look and listen, one's actions and words will speak loud and clear." Feel free to pass it on, but give me the credit.