May I be honest about my thoughts concerning marriage? I don’t believe there are a lot of honest conversations about what marriage entails. And because of this I don't think people have a true understanding of what they are getting into when they say "I Do."

I am a fan of social media; I’m active on quite a few sites. However, I think some people who are on social media depict a not so truthful picture of how married life is. Don’t get me wrong, it is true that my marriage did not succeed, but that does not mean I do not believe in marriage anymore. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Nor have I given up all hope of having a successful marriage of my own one day. Furthermore, I'm not a bitter divorcee who is a hop, skip, and a jump away from her forties. I still believe in marriage, I have a lot of examples of healthy marriages in my life. My parents being one of them, my parents have been married for 45 years, and they still like each other. Even though I have a wonderful example of a working marriage, I am not naïve to the fact that marriage takes work. Not only does marriage take work daily, but it also is not full of rainbows, butterflies and sunshine every day.

Truthfully, I am quite annoyed by individuals who post how wonderful their marriage is every day and how elated they are in their marriage. By no means am I a hater – I know from experience, that every day in a marriage is not a happy one. And I honestly believe those individuals who choose to give the impression that it is add pixie dust to the fantasy. I was under the impression that once I got married all my relationship troubles were going to be over - boy was I wrong. If anything, the trials become more difficult. And that should be expected. I spent a lot of time hoping I would be swept off my feet by a wonderful man who loved me dearly and unconditionally, and we would live happily ever after. I was convinced that being married would make everything perfect.

I say difficulties should be expected in marriage for a couple of reasons. Mainly because marriage is ordained by God. In the Book of Genesis, God established marriage as sacred. He determined a method of uniting one man and one woman together. For this reason, married couples should expect problems to arise. Furthermore, let's look at the obvious. You are two different people being joined as one. During your single days, you had your views and outlook on life. You had your individual ambitions and desires and the person you married had their own. It is not strange or even wrong to clash. You are two different people with different ideas; you will not always agree. I would definitely question your relationship if you always agree and never argue. If you always agree and never annoy each other - someone is not being honest. We're human - your significant other is going to get on your nerves, and you are going to get on theirs. In all honesty, we are both annoyed and annoying in all of our relationships. Being annoyed doesn't mean you don't love your spouse.

I think those of us who have experienced marriage should be willing to discuss what it really means to partake in this covenant. Not necessarily airing dirty laundry, but expressing those things that we didn't know would take place until after we were married. We should discuss the things that would have been helpful beforehand.

For an example, it is imperative to have conversations about everything. And when I say everything - I mean everything. Talk about whether or not you want children, and if you have children - discuss how you will raise them. How will you discipline them? Will you discipline them? Do you believe in the same faith? If not, will you be able to live together with different religious beliefs? Furthermore, how will you raise your children in regards to their faith and belief system? Talk about sex. Find out what they like and don't like. You need to know if they are willing to do the strange and kinky things you like. And you must talk about money. When these conversations transpire, be honest. It is also very important to listen to the answers and ask yourself if you will be able to accept what you are being told for the rest of your life.

I've expressed a few things for the advice giver; now I want to address the advice receiver. Listen to the individuals that are offering advice about marriage to you that are or have been married before. In retrospect, I wish I had listened to those who were trying to help me. I was thinking, "I know what I'm doing...Just because your marriage was like that doesn't mean mine will." Regardless of what happened in the advice giver's marriage, they've traveled the road you're starting. Take the meat and throw away the bones. I honestly believe things would have been different for me had I listened.

So, I encourage those who have said "I Do" to offer advice to those who are considering marriage. And I encourage those of you who are interested in saying "I Do" to listen to those who have traveled the road before you.